Graduation
by Stahlfan125
Summary: It's Angela's graduation, one year after Jordan Catalano broke up with her. She happens to be seated next to him in the ceremony. AngelaJordan


Yeah…so since I've been downloading My So Called Life episodes offline and watching them, and since I've been obsessed with Jared Leto (a.k.a Jordan Catalano) for like…ever…I decided to write this! I hope you enjoy it! And do check out Jared Leto's band, 30 Seconds to Mars. They're amazing! And I will shamelessly pimp the band everywhere I go :D.

Anyway, please review! And Enjoy if it's at all possible, hahaha.

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**Graduation**

Angela noticed, as she was standing on the stage at her high school graduation, that Jordan Catalano had a sort of scared look about him. It wasn't something you noticed right away; you didn't look at Jordan Catalano and automatically think 'scared'. No, it was something much subtler. It was like he didn't want to stand out, like he didn't want anyone to notice him. The way he always pulled his sleeves down over his hands, or the way he always tried to hide behind his long, brown hair, made him seem frightened and almost younger than he was. She wondered if maybe he had been bullied in the past…or something.

He was standing next to her, right beside her. His leg was _touching_ hers. It was kind of awkward. She was glad they weren't allowed to talk, or else she probably would have felt compelled to say something to him. She didn't know _what_, exactly, but she would have wanted to say _something_. Even though he had broken her heart the previous year, and even though he had been a complete asshole and _deserved _to be ignored, she would have wanted to say something to him. She was absolutely _pathetic_.

She felt him nudging her, and she turned her head to glance at him slightly. He smiled at her. She smiled back and turned to face the front again. Her mother was beaming at her, and when she caught Angela's eye, she waved slightly. Angela smiled in response. She looked down at the ground, trying to focus. She didn't want to start thinking of…

"Hey, Angela."

Jordan was talking to her. At least, he was making an attempt to talk to her. She wasn't exactly welcoming the conversation.

"We're not supposed to be talking," she whispered back without turning to look at him.

"I know," Jordan said in a tone that clearly said that he didn't care. "I just wanted to know what you're doing afterwards."

Angela sighed and glanced at him.

"Me and Rayanne and Rickie are going out to eat," she said patiently. "Then we're going back to my house for my family party."

"You're lucky, you know," Jordan said sadly. Angela looked at him curiously.

"Why am I lucky?" she asked him.

"Because you have like…a family," Jordan said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Who actually cares about you."

"What about yours?" Angela asked. Jordan's family was a topic that she and Jordan had never really discussed.

"They don't care," Jordan said, shrugging like it was no big deal, though clearly she could tell by the way his eyes got that funny scared expression that it wasn't really no big deal to him.

"Are they here?" Angela asked. Jordan shook his head.

"I asked them to come…I thought, you know, they'd be, like, proud or something that I finally graduated. But they laughed at me. They thought it was funny that I thought they'd like to come."

Angela looked at Jordan sadly. She couldn't imagine her parents not wanting to go to her graduation.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"It's okay," Jordan said, shrugging. "It's just like…you're really lucky, you know? Because you have people that love you."

"I'm sure you have people that love you too," Angela said, not willing to say to him that she was still one of those people.

"Yeah, right," Jordan said sarcastically. "I don't think anyone does anymore. You were…really…the only person who ever did."

Angela sighed and looked at him sadly.

"Well then there's still at least one person who loves you," she said bitterly. She turned to face the front again, and saw that her mother was looking at her sadly. She seemed to know what was going on, and she seemed to feel pity for her daughter, which Angela found almost…cute in a way.

"You don't love me," Jordan whispered, just as Angela thought he had given up on making conversation with her. She turned to look at him again, sadness in her gaze.

"Yes, I do," she said. "So please, stop talking to me."

She turned again, and this time Jordan really did stop talking. For at least a half hour, he was completely silent beside her as the speeches went on. When his name was called, and he walked across the stage to get his diploma, he looked almost…sad. He had his long blue graduation gown sleeves pulled over his hands, and his head was down, his long hair in front of his face so no one could see his features as he shuffled across the stage. Then, as he was heading back, he looked right at Angela. She was called next, so she had to walk past him, and she kept her eyes on the ground as she heard Rayanne and Rickie cheering behind her. Her mother and father stood up and clapped eagerly, and she smiled at them before taking her diploma and going back to her spot. Jordan looked at her sadly.

"I still love you too, you know," he said to her. Angela felt like screaming, but she held it in and didn't turn around to face him. She heard him sigh and shift, and she knew he was going to speak again. "When I…when I broke up with you…Ange, that was because Rickie said I was hurting you. That I wasn't good enough for you. And you know, I thought he was right. I _still _think he was right. You're too good for a person like me, Ange. I didn't think you really loved me…I didn't think I meant that much to you. If I had…I never would have left you…never."

Hearing those words come out of Jordan Catalano's mouth caused tears to come to Angela's eyes. She looked at him with her heart thumping in her chest.

"Do you mean that?" she asked. "Do you really mean that?"

"Of course," Jordan said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "With all my heart, Ange."

Angela looked down at the ground, turning away from Jordan so he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. She tried desperately to think of something to say to him; _anything_ to say to him that would break the horrible silence that followed his words. But what _could_ she say? What he had said was too good. How was she supposed to follow that up?

"I…" she stammered, but she was lost. She thought maybe she was just stunned into silence because Jordan had said something at least somewhat intelligent that was actually seriously the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to her. "Jordan…I don't get how you can think you're not good enough for me…all the time we were going out, I thought that _I _wasn't good enough for _you_. You were so, like, out of my league…it was like dating a movie star." She laughed slightly, thinking of how she had once watched him from afar in the hallways, wishing that she could just _talk _to him, just _once _in her life. "Of course you're _good enough_ for me. You are like…ten times better than good enough for me. You're _better _than me."

Jordan laughed breathily, and the air tickled the side of Angela's neck.

"Yeah, right," he said derisively in that lazy way he had. "You're kidding, right?"

Angela glanced at him with an expression that clearly said she wasn't joking. Jordan stared at her as if she had just told him the world was ending. It was kind of an incredulous, sad, frightened expression. Like the fact that she thought he was better than her was some kind of world-ending news.

He was about to say something, but that was the end of the ceremony, and she walked over to Rayanne and Rickie quickly, before he could say anything.

"Can you believe this?" Rayanne asked with excitement. "We _graduated_. Like…we passed. On time!"

"I exceeded all my expectations," Rickie said proudly.

"Me too," Rayanne agreed. "Like the fact that I actually graduated!"

Angela smiled at them both as she walked up.

"Hey, Angela!" Rayanne said. "Quick, my mom's taking a picture. Smile pretty!"

Rayanne's mother was indeed taking a picture, out in the audience. Rayanne seemed to have a sixth sense with cameras; she always knew when one was being pointed in her direction. Angela and Rayanne posed for her mother, smiling brightly with a cheer that Angela didn't feel at the moment. She could see Jordan approaching out of the corner of her eye.

"Come on," she said quickly to Rayanne, grabbing her hand and leading her friend through the crowd of graduates, moving towards the edge of the stage. Rickie followed with a heavy sigh; he saw Jordan and knew what was going on.

They managed to get to Angela's parents, who were sitting with Rayanne's mother. Patty smiled at Angela fondly, scooping her into a hug.

"Oh, honey," she said tearfully. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, mom," Angela said, smiling and pulling away from the hug. Graham hugged her next, not saying anything. Rayanne's mother hugged her, too, then Rayanne wrapped her arms around her neck and gave her a huge kiss on the cheek.

Angela laughed and pushed Rayanne off of her as everyone chuckled along with her. She turned to face her mother, and noticed Jordan standing alone in the middle of the crowd, that look in his eye again. He was looking around sadly, as if hoping to see his parents in the crowd of faces. He reached a hand to his face and brushed his hair back slightly. That was when Angela noticed the large bruise on his cheek.

She felt her heart burst with pity for Jordan as she saw that mark. She wasn't stupid; she knew where he had gotten that. Apparently Jordan's parents cared a lot less than he let on.

Angela wasn't sure what she was doing as she walked away from her family without an explanation and walked steadily through the crowd towards Jordan. She stopped ten feet in front of him, watching him with a blank expression. He didn't notice her at first, but then he turned in his fruitless search for his parents, and saw her standing there. He seemed surprised, at first, and he tensed up, his hands curling into fists around the graduation gown as he shifted his weight on his feet. He looked like he was expecting her to hit him. Angela felt her insides clench as she thought of his father or his mother or his brother hitting him and yelling at him…no wonder why he was the way he was; so distant and unwilling to open up to anything. If the people who are supposed to, like, unconditionally love you…don't, then there was no wonder he couldn't believe that _anyone _loved him.

"Hey," he said slowly once he realized that she wasn't moving, and didn't show any signs of wanting to kill him with her bare hands.

"Hey," she said quietly, her blank expression replaced with a pained one. She was filled with a sudden desire to wrap her arms around him and make him feel better. She almost did it, too, but at the last minute refrained, crossing her arms over her chest. "Ummm…so, are you doing anything?"

"Just…going home," Jordan said, looking less than thrilled about the prospect.

"You wanna come with us?" Angela asked. "I'm sure Rayanne and Rickie wouldn't mind."

Jordan nodded slowly, his eyes gazing into hers with an odd sort of intensity.

"I'd love to," he said quietly.

Angela smiled at him, and he smiled back, and they walked side by side towards her family and friends. As they walked, she looked up at him, and saw the side of his face, where that bruise was. From up close, it looked even more angry and purple. Jordan saw her looking at him, and quickly pushed his hair over the bruise.

"Like I said," he began, as if he had to explain the bruise to Angela; as if it were somehow his fault. "You're lucky."

Angela nodded sadly.

"I am," she said. Then, she reached out and surprised herself by wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him. For a moment, he seemed too surprised to react, but then he nuzzled his head into the crook of her neck. Angela, over his shoulder, saw that her mother was watching her, a small smile on her face. Angela smiled too and made herself more comfortable in Jordan's arms, putting one hand near the base of his neck. Her mother nodded approvingly, and turned around to talk to Graham, who was eyeing Angela and Jordan with distrust.

"I love you," Jordan whispered to Angela. She felt a lump rising in her throat, and she held him tighter, knowing that after that night, nothing was going to be the same.

"I love you too," she whispered brokenly. Jordan hugged her tighter, not showing any sign of letting her go, but that was all right with Angela. If that moment could have lasted forever, Angela would have gladly let it continue into eternity. Still, part of her was glad that life would go on, because she had a feeling that her life was going to get a whole lot better, and she wanted to be able to live it.


End file.
